Found the below blog entry that I'd started a few months ago on a train journey in the UK, but for some reason never published - probably because the train had no wi-fi, and I'd forgotten about it by the time that I got home!
Anyway, since I'm in an airport, and I have wi-fi it seems like a good time to get it published!
I think the only thing I had to add to the below takes me back to "people". Especially at the security checks. You've been stood in a line for a while, you've been bombarded with recorded announcements and, sometimes, pretty graphics telling you to take liquids out of your hand luggage, make sure you have items ready that can't go through the metal detectors with you, etc. So why does the majority of people only start getting stuff out of their pockets, etc when they reach the conveyor!? You've had ample time while waiting to get yourself prepared, but no... You didn't bother which means you're now holding up the entire queue. I know that not everyone travels as often as some of us, but the sheer numbers of people who do this means that really can't the case all the time. One or two, maybe. The majority, no!
Anyway, enough ranting... It's time to relax! So here's the original entry............
So I find myself back in the UK for a 2 week holiday from working in the Secret Location and on the train home. 2 and three-quarter hours to kill, so feel the need to vent some spleen about airports.
One of the bad things about working overseas is it causes one to suffer airports. It's possibly a little unfair to blame it all on the airports, hence the fact this is also classed as a "General Rant".
First of all, airports are such mind-numbingly dull places, beaten only perhaps by coach and train stations. I've come across the odd one that at least has free wi-fi, which helps; but there's only so much web surfing you can do before you get bored or your battery runs out!
But the biggest problem is they're full of people, but not designed to cope with people.
For example, the air bridge sounds like a wonderful idea. You can get between the plane and the terminal without having to climb steps and be exposed to the elements. But they're too narrow. Or rather people with wheely-cases are idiots - they tend to walk so slowly , but also with the case out to one side, so those of us who fancy a brisk walk after being cooped up in a tin tube for a few hours have to dawdle along behind them, always looking for that opportunity to overtake. And when one does show up, you suddenly find the person in front of them also has a wheely case, but with it on the other side of them. And even when you get into the terminal and the corridor widens you get 2 or 3 idiots with such cases walking next to each other taking up the entire width of the corridor. Oh, and this isn't forgetting how those stupid cases take up so much space in the overhead lockers! When I take over the world, those things will be illegal as hand luggage!
Then there's the boarding times they print on your boarding card. Have you ever known them keep to those things? I think most of the time flights I've been on have started boarding after the gate is supposed to have closed. In another piece of joined-up thinking, one of my boarding cards today says to be at the gate 30 minutes prior to departure, but also says that the gate will close at time that is... 30 minutes prior to departure! Of course, it's OK for the airline to delay you like that, but if you do the same to them you're likely to be kicked off the flight and have to pay again to get on another flight.
Then there's the matter of the toilets. I travel alone, and today I had a couple of hours between arriving at my destination and catching my train. Thankfully, given I rarely eat anything or drink much when I'm flying I didn't have to use the toilets during this time. However, one thought did come to mind... Given the average size of a toilet cubicle (or closeness of the urinals) how does the lone traveller use the toilets without putting himself or his luggage at risk. Unless you manage to travel incredibly light, you are likely to have a suitcase of a fair size. Now imagine you're stood at a urinal mid-flow... How do you protect your suitcase? The obvious answer is to use a cubicle, but now you have the issue how how to fit yourself and your case into the cubicle, and be able to shut the door (especially if you're in there for number 2s!) Or get out again if you somehow managed to squeeze yourself in.
Finally for this rant; for various reasons pork products are illegal in the Secret Location. As a fan of bacon, this means one of the first things I want to do when I get back to the UK (or any other country for that matter) is have a bacon sandwich. But for some reason this most basic of human necessities is virtually impossible to find at an airport. They're either re-heated things that shouldn't be allowed to be classed as food, or they're a huge bap with 2 little pieces of bacon that you can hardly taste. Or the food outlet is a big American fast food chain whose idea of bacon is that tasty streaky stuff that Americans seem to think is bacon, but is actually mostly fat and tastes of nothing!
Anyway, the sun has decided to put in a breif appearance, so I think I shall go back to watching the lovely green fields of England roll by the window of the train that is actually moving and mostly ontime!